Alcohol and too much time on your hands is a bad combination.

Well we had a little excitement around here today. It seems that some asswipe went over to our house in Fort Smith and spray painted a “highly intellectual” message on the back porch. All things considered, we have a pretty good idea who is behind this. The evidence initially pointed at one person, a person I’ll call suspect #1. But a re-evaluation of the evidence (which is largely the testimony of one nosy neighbor who looks out her window a lot), and an investigation (including pictures of the crime scene) shed some doubt on #1. Suspect #2 is also a big contender – more-so now that I’ve seen the pics. I simply believe #1 would have done a better job of writing the message. Both #1 and #2 are equally cabable of concocting a scheme of such inadequate porportions. I’m sure the process started with either alcohol or drugs, or both. After the mind altering effects set in, self pity and doubt began to take their toll. After a bit of wallowing in how miserable they had made their life, they realized that the best way to cope with one’s own inability is to blame others. This is where Clint and Melanie enter the picture. You see, both these individuals are under the inaccurate assumption that Clint and/or I have somehow contributed or are even responsible for their miserable lot in life. So this person decided it was a good idea to drive to our house, armed with a can of spray paint, and deliver a message. Here is where I am going to shift the voice of this post. I am now speaking directly to suspect #1 and #2:
Hear this, and hear it well – to know you is to know with 100% certainty that you are capable of destroying yourself completely on your own. This is not the first time you’ve found yourself in a downspin and it most likely won’t be the last. Do you have any interest in knowing why you continually do this? It is because you make bad decisions. You think that you are choosing the noble path – the high road – but you are in fact choosing the path of least resistance. You each truly believe that to stay in a bad, unpleasant, or dead-end situation is somehow admirable. You think you’ll stick it out, give it another chance, and that somehow you will be able to make a silk purse from a sow’s ear. You are emotionally driven. You are overly sensetive (though you manifest this in different ways), and you spend way too much time obsessing over what others say or do. You are also both score keepers, constantly checking where your mark is in relation to others and comparing good and bad deeds. One of you is so filled with rage it is a wonder you are able to function. One of you is so indecisive I’m amazed you are able to dress yourself in the morning. One of you has, to my knowledge, never kept a friend, and one of you, to my knowledge, has never had a friend at all. One of you believes that if you pretend to by “better”, you will simply become that way without any actual effort. One of you believes that others who have more than you think that they are “better” and are thereby keeping you down. One of you is, I fear, just plain evil. One of you is just plain stupid.

Whatever grievances you think you’ve edured, I think we are now even.

I’ll work on having our house restored to it’s previous condition, and you work on restoring your sanity.



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